Week 8 Matchup of the Week

On paper ESPN gives it to Jay and Not So Silent Shawn vs. Lionel Richie All Night Long, but Harry and Lloyd have a greater chance of choking on a penny than winning this matchup.

This week's Matchup of the Week is sponsored by Flick Candles makers of Blueberry Bromance

This week I'm going with a once great forgotten about rivalry. Everyone sit down and let me tell you a story about our League before Prestige Worldwide came into our midst.

There was another great Brofest. Yes, this isn't Team Shaft's first rodeo or should I say Rodebro :)

These two teams competed in everything from IceFacing to I really can't remember what else, but they did, I promise.

That bromance is rekindled this week when The Original RG takes on Team Shaft. The spread right now is 3.8, but even though I always go with the checkmarks and ESPN, I can not and will not bet against The Original RG.

So looks like Team Shaft better find a 5-3 gif out there..

Week 7 Recap

Is this man a better Fantasy Football player than us?

I find that hard to believe, but still it's hard to argue with a 7-0 record. Perhaps all the other managers in his league have the mental capacity of the B team minus Team Fox when it comes to FF this year...

Anyways, let's get to making fun of all of you...

So far it's shaping up for a "race" to the finish for the distinguished title of the League's Worst Team. It really feels like you're watching an event at the Special Olympics with performance of all these teams so far.

Half the Man I Used to Be still has a 1 game lead on the field, but it's getting congested just like a large amount of turds being flushed down the toilet with 4 teams having a 2-5 record.




The Original RG and Stormin Mormon still command the best records in the league.

When the schedule was draft all we heard about was how there would be "parity this year with the top teams from last year all playing each other," but somehow the mastermind behind the schedule did not put these Division winners from last year playing each other...Conspiracy? Smells like it to me...

This week's Bench Get Off Me Award presented by IKEA goes to Philanthropist Fletch for starting Rashad Jennings (1 point) over that lovable midget Darren Sproles. Sprole's 8 points would have been more than enough to squeak by You Win...You Lose. See, I told you that he'd find a way to lose....the Blog does not lie!

There's really not much more to say, almost half the league sucks and the usual people are winning. No one comments on the blog or makes death threats against me, so it's kind boring...I expected better.

I miss the good ole days when certain owners would make ridiculous trades, feelings would get hurt, and rivalries were real...

Have we all grown up? Are we all mature functioning adults now? Is everyone suddenly Politically Correct?

Where have the glory days of this league gone?

Until next week..

Rivalry Week

Well this is the week we've been all been waiting for...Rivalry Week. Sadly only one side bet has been made. You gentlemen should be ashamed of yourself, I expected better!

Since it's Rivalry Week, every matchup is the Matchup of the Week.

So let's all get to it...

Kenny Loggins Powers vs. Lionel Richie All Night Long

A winning record is truly a Brave New World for each of these owners. Right now, both are in the playoffs, but that will change based on the results of this game! ESPN predicts a victory for Lionel. However you can never count out Kenny F'n Powers and we all know how reliable those points projections are.

I'm giving the edge to KLP b/c you've got to know when to hold 'em..



Jay and Not So Silent Shawn vs. Half the Man I Used to Be

How the mighty have fallen. HTMIUTB hasn't lost this many games in a season any year he's been in the league and we aren't even halfway through. Now this being said, he'll still finish the season 8-5 and make it into the playoffs.

Shouldn't be much of a matchup against Tweedledee and Tweedledum, HTMIUTB wins easily and makes his great comeback!

Philanthropist Fletch vs. You win....you lose

On paper it looks a win for Fletch, but I'm thinking YW...YL pulls it out having found his winning ways back last week and if there's one thing we always know to be true, Fletch always always finds a way to lose!

Here's a picture of Decker's wife just because...



Prestige Worldwide vs. Team Shaft

Someone's going to be sleeping on the couch after this one. #frownyface
This bromance is heading through a rocky patch and feelings are going to get hurt in this lover's tussle.

I'm going to say this one ends in a tie because I don't think either could stand the pain that hurting the other would bring to them.

LeGarrette's Blount's vs. Team Fox

I really can't figure out why this is rivalry? Do they both share a love for Coors Light or just college Coeds? We may never know...

Team Fox wins in a landslide, but Blount can't feel his face and has not idea where he is...

 

We Don't Need Your Permission vs. I Will Not Give Up T!!!

 

This one isn't even going to be close, Permission wins without H8ER not even putting up a fight...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Half the Man Roy Wiliams Was vs. The Original RG

 

Should be the best matchup on paper, however RG flies the W.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you tell I've gotten bored now...

 

Stormin Mormon vs. Quinn's Redemption Tour

 

No one is stopping the Mormon, not even this tour de idleness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well that was fun and a huge waste of time...

 

Week Six Recap

Greetings Gentlemen, is anyone else ready to just throw in the towel on football?



I hate Fantasy Football, I hate it! Why do I continue to think this is fun? I'd get more enjoyment out of putting $130 on the ground and lighting it on fire...


Side note (has anyone seen The Holy Mountain? Crazy movie, I would not recommend it)

Anyways, let's get to Week 6's games...

Can we all agree that Baratheon is the strongest division with 3 of the top 5 highest scoring teams it's hard to argue. Yes, the bottom team sucks, but still you always have to have that one person that ruins it for everyone..

This week's Bench Get Off Me Award (presented by Forrest Gump),

goes to both Half the Man I Used to Be and We Don't Need Your Permission.

Both teams left more than enough points on their respective benches that would have insured an easy victory, but instead both team find themselves owing $10.

Last week's Matchup of the Week was less than spectacular. The only thing worse that both these teams was this play...



Is there a more pathetic team in the League than Jay and Not So Silent Shawn?

At 1-5, the only thing making positive gains on this team is their respective waist sizes. While one co-owner is to congratulated on his recent engagement the other's spouse should consider divorcing him for his poor decision making. It looks like 1-12 is on the horizon for this team, but keep your heads up gentlemen maybe you both need to a trip in your underwear to the hotel hospitality to get some skittles and water or some half decent Fantasy Football players.

Looks like Half the Man Roy Wiliams Was is back to his old ways, scoring the least amount of points this week. Glad to know you haven't forgotten how to suck like Lionel Richie All Night Long obviously has.



What is the world coming to! Both Lionel Richie All Night Long and Kenny Loggins Powers find themselves in unprecedented territory...winning and in the Playoffs...one can only wonder how long this will last..

I don't know about you, but I just picked up some special Mormon Temple Garments b/c is there any team hotter right now that Stormin Mormon?

Until we meet again...


Oh, almost forgot..Prestige Worldwide beat The Original RG

Week 6 Matchup of the Week

Welcome to Deflate Gate Week in the NFL!

This week's matchup of the week is brought to you by The Love Ranch

 

This week's match-up will leave you in a coma, half-dead, and passed out on the floor just like our sponsor!

This week we have a "match-up" of 1 win teams. There's not much to get excited about, I'd rather watch an episode of the Kardashians than have to see these two pathetic "teams" play.

Jay and Not So Silent Shawn take on TM23 in what is sure to be a low scoring snoozefest. Both teams suck, that's all there is to say. I could care less about this matchup and only am writing about it because I'm contractually obligated to pick a matchup each week.

ESPN says Jay and Not So Silent Shawn will win, but let's be honest this things is going to end in a 0-0 tie...all three of you men should be ashamed of yourselves for your respective teams because after this week one of you will be 1 and 5.

Cinco De Weeko

And then there was one!

Hello, is it your first loss you've been looking for Prestige Worldwide?

What about arriving to your front door and dropping 140 points on you Team Shaft?

Can anyone beat RG?

I mean seriously we are all getting beat by a team led by a Redhead...

As for the rest of us lovable losers....

There's a Mena-jay-Suck for last place this year. Yes, I know there are 4 teams with only 1 win, but that didn't fit into my word play...surprising HTMRWW is not in the mix, surly this has to change, you can hold suck back so long..

Let's give a big hand to this year's Biggest Improver (So Far) presented by BabyBjorn Toilet Trainer to:

Kenny Loggins Powers. Congrats on this new found adventure of winning you've discovered, but sadly like running into Kershaw in the playoffs, it's about to end...

This week's Bench Get Off Me Award (Sponsored by the man himself Johnny Bench) goes to....

Half the Man I Used to Be (Who really should change his name to Half the Owner I Used to Be) for leaving Darren McFadden and his 16 points wasting away which would have been more than enough to overcome his 4 point loss to KLP.

Until we meet again, may the odds be ever in your favor...

Week 5 Matchup of the Week

This week's Matchup of the Week is sponsored by...CDC Cellular Repair Services, LLC

Not familiar with the company? Either was I, but heck let's meet the owner...

This is John O'Rangers

When John O’Rangers lost his job, he tapped into his electronic skills using ham radio, becoming a certified cellphone repairman, and CDC Cellular Repair Services LLC was born.

 

Main product or service: Cellular phone repair: iPhones, smartphones, tablets

 

What led you to launch this business? Layoff from previous career. Tapped into my skills in electronics/ham radio, earned training and certification in cellphone repair.

 

What is unique about it? There are limited resources in the region for this type of service. I am trained to repair not only the level 1 basic cosmetic repairs, but can perform complex internal repairs, water damage repair, SMD soldering and so forth.

 

What do you do that nobody else does? Cellphone water damage, board-level soldered repairs such as charge ports, micro-USB ports. I also have dedicated training and certification from the top cellphone training school in the country.

 

Why do you believe you will be successful? First, there are few options in the region for phone repairs. Often insurance deductibles are too high or the carriers will not repair customers’ phones. I am also able to do many repairs in as little as one to two hours.

 

My business field is in high demand. Most people today rely on smartphones for so many activities, and need quality repair services. Repair service, especially when internal problems exist, are often beyond the scope of most individuals. I can be the solution to this. It is not uncommon to find people who claim to do these types of repairs, but very uncommon to find one that is trained properly. My business has the potential to do very well in a challenging economy as customers have less disposable income and are using their older devices longer.

 

Thanks for that informative interview John!

This week Team Shaft takes on Stormin Mormon in a battle of Division leaders. ESPN gives the all important checkmark to Team Shaft so that's who I'm putting my money on. I think I'm 4-0 on the season, but I could be wrong.

* Note this "interview" was taken from The Fredrick News-Post interview on 8/31/13. I am giving all the credit to the author of this interview. You can view the interview here. Please don't sue me, I'm only trying to be funny.

Week 4 Recap

Welcome to the first weeks of...

's

Well let's see what happened this week...the tow man lovefest still remains undefeated and there really are three (3) certain things in life:
1. death,
2. taxes, and
3. Randy winning.

As for the rest of us band of loser...

Welcome to the win column Quinn's Redemption Tour and Half the Man Roy Williams Was. We all remember our first, some just had to wait a little bit later...

What do you do after 58 point ass kicking?

1. Apparently, you offer a trade to everyone in the league for the same two (2) players.
2. You also don't discuss said trades with your co-owner.
3. You execute said trade.
4. You are forced to eat at the ONLY restaurant that wasn't established in Mobile, Alabama

But maybe that's just how some teams roll..

Bench Get Off Me Award (No official sponsor as of this week) of the week goes to...

Philanthropist Fletch for leaving Rashad Jenning's 17 points on the bench and instead getting a whopping 2 points from the tiny Darren Sproles...those extra 15 points would've have been more than enough to beat the Blount master...

This week's IDIOT of the Week (Sponsored by The Great State of West Virginia) goes to...

I Will Not Give Up T for turning down this one-sided trade...

I mean that's like giving away your team, looks like someone should've hit accept, but that's just why some people can never have nice shiny new things....like a Fantasy Football trophy...

Until we meet again my friends...

#ManGate2015 or as it really was FailGate

Well that was good idea that completely sucked!

ManGate 2015 happened, not many would call it a success.

There was a smorgasbord of food from Half the Man I Used to Be's "redhead hot sausages" to The Real RG's 7 layers of fantasy dominance dip. Much thanks to Prestige Worldwide for opening his home and assorted beverages fridge to us.

Sadly even the gloriousness of four (4) TVs, a warm fire, and an abundance of Chick-fil-a nuggets couldn't change the score of any games. The state of Mississippi took home the first loser trophy this weekend and that just sucks!

DirectTV tried to warm us to just give up and go home, but no we wouldn't pay any attention to "Jim" from Illinois. We persevered and should have really just watched a LifeTime movie.

Heck, I Will Not Give Up T didn't even end up passing out in the guest room.

It still was a great time, we sang Happy Birthday, some of us fell over in our chairs, and we all found out that yes The Original RG does excel in everything from Fantasy Sports to cornhole.

If we ever decide to do this again, might I suggest not attempting this during football season...stay hungry my good friends.

Week 4 Matchup of the Week

This week's matchup of the week is brought to you by...

Pepto Bismol!

When you've over indulged in the wine you brought for the birthday girl and you feel like you've got to hurl, you need to reach for some Pepto instead of that ice cold PBR...


This week Team Shaft takes on Jay and Not So Silent Shawn

Yes you might be asking why in the world is this the matchup of the week but to all of you I just have one thing to say...

SHUT YO MOUTH!

According to the "experts" at ESPN this matchup should end up in a draw 115 to 115. I'm going to give the edge to Team Shaft going with my trusty whoever has the checkmark by their team method that hasn't let me down yet!

 

Week 3 Recap

What does the Fox say?



How about I just whooped your ass by 81.

 

The week 3 performer of the week sponsored by Coors Light goes to:

Team Fox

While they may lack name creativity and adult alcoholic beverage preference, they are not lacking in playmakers. Looks like spending $5 on a defense was a worthwhile investment after all.

So gentlemen, raise your blue mountain cool cans of Coors Light and salute this week's peak performer!

The rest of us:

KLP seems more concerned about his wedding and the Mets than his fantasy team. Are you even trying? I'm shocked this team has even won a game.

Slow golf clap to our newest member for picking up his first win even though if he had played anyone else this week, he'd be 0-3. Sometimes you just get lucky, but obviously this didn't happened during your draft.

All of us are wondering when the Redemption Tour starts and it looks like Roy Williams is well on his way to stealing your girlfriend and last place for a second straight year.

And then there were 3. Yep they share a man love fest and first place both Prestige Worldwide and Team Shaft remain unbeaten entering the bye weeks. The Original RG is perfect too, but who cares...