Week 4

First of all, let me take a minute to apologize for not blessing you all with my glorious Blog last week.

I'd epically like to take this time to beg the forgiveness of the owner formerly known as Philanthropist Fletch. Sir, I'm sorry I let you down. I know you set a high and lofty standard upon which you judge others and I failed you, was this my first offense, no...I've made many a mistake. I just got lazy, like you or your co-owner going to the gym...

We simply can't all be like you....we can't name our children after inanimate objects you find special in your life...we can't cause others to quit their jobs out of hatred or fear...we can't wear an NFL jersey as proper dinner attire on a recruiting trip....Sir we simply can't be you...so from the bottom of my heart I'd like to beg your forgiveness for not posting last week. I hope you can find it in your small sliver of a heart (if you even have one) to forgive me.

- The Editor of the Blog.

Now that that dog and pony show is over let's get to it...

Apparently some of you decided to take a knee with your performances last week. Congrats on expressing your first amendment right to let us know how much you suck.

We don't kneel here at the Blog (unless it's week 3 and we are lazy see above)! We stand up and proudly proclaim for anyone who will listen (be it probably only around 5 of you) how pathetic each and everyone of you are at the sport of Fantasy Football!

In that spirit, I'd like you all to stand as we sing our League's new anthem.

Jose can you see, how much Team Shaft sucks,
What so proudly he used to of hail'd as a semi-hard meeting.
Whose injury prone receivers and formerly top ranked players
Are now not even an option for streaming!
And the injury report update's red glare, the single digit player scoring,
Gave proof through the first three weeks that this manager should just be retiring. 
Jose does this team deserve redemption that's yet to be seen
O'er anyone in this league will he victor or will he go O' and thirteen?

Thank you for your attention and respect.

Three (3) teams have yet to pop their 2017 season cherry. So let's make fun of them individually b/c who cares that Mouth Breathers are 3-0.

Team Shaft - Plain and simple...it just is painful when you lose by 2 points. You finally get a good game out of AJ Green only to have the Dolphins defense crap the bed against the Jets. Javorius Allen was still on his knee in London and apparently the Glass Joe that is Jamaal Charles on your bench would have been a better play, who would've thought?

It's alright, you're used to losing...it's just something you need to accept like looming NCAA sanctions or prepaid burner phones. Maybe this is the week you turn it around! Maybe this is the week you get a win...or maybe this is the week you travel to Tuscaloosa and get your ass handed to you...

Voter Fraud Committee - Congrats you teamed up to form a team even worse that both of you were last year individually! They said it couldn't be done duplicating the incompetence and mismanagement of your performance during the 2016 season. Maybe next year you can pick up another owner and blame your lack of performance on them. Don't worry, you both have excelled in bitching and moaning, you'd be in first place if we gave points for that!

The only fraud here is you both thinking you belong in this League of Ordinary "Gentlemen." In the meantime, try and keep your heads up and take solace in the fact that we are all cheating down here and that's the reason your season is starting out in the can.

Hangin' with Mr. Cooper - We tried to warn you, we tried to help you out, we told you to team up with Avoid Direct Sunlight, but you were too prideful or ignorant to listen to us. You think that year after year of sucking you'd finally realize that you don't have it...I'm not entirely sure what "it" is, but still you're a glutton for punishment.

Also this is the picture you should be using for your logo....you can't even get that right!

See you Sons of Bitches next week!