Thursday, December 10, 2015

Regular Season Wrap-Up

Congrats are in order for Prestige Worldwide, what you lack in hair sir, you make up for in Fantasy Football management skills...who knew you were married?

I'd also like to also congratulate all four top managers from last year for again winning your respective divisions.

Team Shaft (8-5, 1,562 total points) - Stark Division (if we went off record and points you wouldn't make the playoffs, thank you divisional format!)
The Original RG (10-3 1,670 total points) - Lannister Division
Prestige Worldwide (11-2 1,750 total points) - Targaryen Division
Stormin Mormon (10-3 1,676 total points) - Baratheon Division

Some may cry that "This is rigged!" but truthfully we were all just too incompetent to assemble teams capable of beating yours...or you lucked out and scored the 6th highest point total in the league, but thankfully you're division was incapable of counting past 7.

The Toughest Division Award goes to...the Baratheon Division, of course. Let's take a look at the SEC of all divisions:
  • 6,249 total points combined (455 points more than the next closest division)
  • 31-21 record (only division to have a combined winning record (and that's with dumb and dumber))
  • 19-9 against all other divisions
  • .569 winning percentage
  • Three of the six teams in the playoffs are from the division.
The Most Dominating Weekly Performance Award goes to...Speech Mode for waiting till week 13 to put up the most points this season. At 188 point Speech Mode bested Team Fox by 7 points to take home this award for the year. You sir have something...we wouldn't call it skill or luck, but it's something...sorta like herpes...it flares up occasionally, but mostly it stays hidden ready to come out at the most inconvenient times.

LeGarrette's Blount's you sir are to especially praised for your inability to manage! Never in the history of this league (or at least since one owner showed up to the draft with out his computer) have we seen such incompetence when it come to assembling an imaginary team of professional athletes. At 3-10 you not only owe $100, but you also will have your 2016 team name decided by the winner of the playoffs.

But don't worry sir three (3) other paint chip eating, big tongued, helmet wearing, individuals also shared your record. Somehow these special needs teams were able to outscore you. Hell, if Philanthropist Fletch and Group Therapy's Walking Wounded had been able to pull themselves up for their autistic seizures, we might of had another season champion. I mean to finish 3-10, you almost have to try to suck that bad. You could've auto drafted your teams and still won 5 games, hell Jay and Not So Silent Shawn won 4 games!


No comments:

Post a Comment