Week 10 Matchup of Week

This week Prestige Worldwide (7-2) finds himself back in the matchup of the week against Speech Mode (6-3). Both teams are projected to score 113 with ESPN giving the all important checkmark to Speech Mode, but let's be honest here, PWW has out scored SM in 6 of the 9 weeks so far this season, so how much faith can you put in those projections?



PWW is coming off a victory over the number one team in the league, as well as, a dominating performance against Team Shaft during Rivalry Week. SM also is coming off a victory over Team Shaft (man can that team buy a win?) and a lackluster performance against one of those special needs teams.

PWW is sticking with this 2 TE strategy that didn't let him down last week while SM praying his QB passes concussion protocol and PPW's RB doesn't. This one should be over after the late game Sunday night because let's be honest there's no way that Tyler Eifert is scoring 3 TDs again. PWW wins by less than a touchdown even though my wallet hopes SM is the one left standing Monday night.

Maybe someday these teams could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale, but this week they are mortal enemies hell bent of winning.

So grab the skittles, start playing your drum set, sip on some sangria, and get ready for a matchup better than the F'n Catalina Wine Mixer

Week 9 Recap

Last week's matchup of the week was about as exciting a Stingray's latest YouTube video...



Prestige Worldwide dominated Stomin Mormon thanks to Antonio Brown's 46 points. Tough draw for the Utes as he'd of beaten over half the league with his modest 120 points.

Well he's gone and done it again!

It's Only 5 Losses, Relax has pulled off another "great" move!

Let's break down this Dumbass Move of the Week in more detail...

So IO5LR gives up a QB he'll need in week 11 for a borderline TE2 who's injured and might not even start Sunday (logical move right?)

Then Sunday morning, he drops said TE

Genius, pure genius! Let's just add this to the reasons you shouldn't be allowed in this league or maybe you should because you obviously know nothing about Fantasy Football...

This week's Bench Get Off Me Award (presented by Bench menswear) goes to...

Philanthropist Fletch (how many times this year are you going to win this award?) for leaving Owen Daniels and his 23 points on the bench. That would been more than enough to cover his 10 point loss to Lionel Richie All Night Long.

Congratulations sir! No wonder everyone you manage tends to quit, who wants to work under such a pathetic loser...

#Winning Teams

Team Shaft finds himself in a race with Kenny Loggins Powers for The Stark Division after dropping his last 2 games, but we all know that just like the Mets, KLP will lose when the championship is on the line.

There's basically no way Prestige Worldwide is not going to win The Targaryen Division, you'd have a better change converting on 4th and 25 from the 40 yard line.

No shocker that The Original RG is close to clinching the Lannister Division, but the biggest surprise is that Lionel Richie All Night Long is in 2nd place sitting only 2 games back.

The Baratheon Division remains anyone's...except for Jay and Not So Silent Shawn's...for the taking.

The teams that ride the short bus section...

I'm amazing how all of you don't choke on your tongues each night. Do you all sit in your excrement each Sunday and wonder what your lives would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Well it looks like Group Therapy's Walking Wounded has fully embraced losing, good news though...only 4 weeks remain so you'll only be out $120, your dignity, naming rights for the 2016 season, and knowing that this guy is a better Fantasy Football manager than you...

Might as well just put yourself down now...

Quinn's Redemption Tour is horrible, I mean you would've been better off letting the person who stole your computer draft for you...maybe then you'd have a logical excuse for why your team would have better luck getting a wish granted by Make-a-Wish than getting a win.

LeGarrette's Blount's season has gone up in smoke...

Despite their best efforts, Jay and Not So Silent Shawn have won three (3) games I'm confused how having two (2) minds would be a disadvantage, but obviously both minds like their bodies aren't beautiful.

This is taking too much time to write about the sub .500 teams, so basically you guys suck, "you're just the afterbirth...slithered out of your mother's filth. They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantelpiece"

Well that's all for this week...I'm looking forward to hopping on the wife...

Week 9 Matchup of the Week

The Match Up of the Week is brought to you by Vagisil

Throw out the ESPN projected points, we're going strictly by records now (mostly b/c the majority of you cried over my process for picking games Tuesday while dining on delicious $2 tacos).

This week Prestige Worldwide takes on Stormin Mormon in what could be a preview of the league championship.

PWW enters the contest still feeling the scorn of his loss to his main broman Team Shaft in week 7 while Joseph Smith's angry disciples haven't lost since a week one debacle against...what the hell...is this right...Jay and Not So Silent Shawn...he lost to them? 

I can not for the life of me bet against Stormin Mormon, can't do it, won't do it...but selfishly I'm pulling (the way you cheer for the handicapped kid to score a touchdown) for Prestige Worldwide. This one is going down to the wire and it won't be decided until Monday night when Prestige Worldwide's QB who doesn't believe in public schooling (or birth control apparently) takes on the Chicago Bear's all-time leader in points for Stormin Mormon.

Let's hope that Prestige Worldwide has better luck in this contest than Keenan Allen's kidney. So gather up your sister wives and grab a nice non-caffeinated/alcoholic beverage because this one is going to be good gentlemen!

Welcome to the Ocho

Effin A Cotton, Effin A

it's Week Ocho...

This week we are blessed to have another IDIOT of the Week, it's his second one this year, so everyone please give a polite participation clap to I Will Not Give Up T for spending $15 on Defense that got him a grand total of -5 points...well done sir!

You might look like Jonah Hill, but you lack the front office skills...

This week's Bench Get off Me Award (Presented by Green Bench Brewing Co. )

Goes to...Kenny Loggins Powers for leaving Shane Vereen and his 23 points on the bench. All he needed was a mere 22 points to side past Half the Man Roy Williams Was and into a tie for 1st place in the Stark Division. But instead it was vintage KLP for the loss.

#Winning

It's still any "man's" race for the 2015 Season Championship (presented by Callahan Auto Parts) with all 4 Division winner's from last year being within 1 game of each other. Can you guys let some of us other teams play? Thanks!

Prestige Worldwide looks to have the biggest lead on his Division, but hey that's what happens when you play in a Division who's mothers obviously drank during pregnancy. With all three (3) of the other "teams" being below .500 this Division should be renamed Water on the Brain. Let's hope these owner's can stop eating paste, paint chips, and pennies long enough to actually manage their teams without wetting themselves.

These people just suck category:

The race for the bottom is heating up with just 1 game separating 3 owners.

LeGarrette's Blounts, Quinn's Redemption Tour, and Group Therapy's Walking Wounded we're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you!

Oh how the mighty have fallen!

You can change your name as many times as you want to, but sadly Group Therapy's Walking Wounded you're still going to suck...isn't it pathetic when your protégée has 2 more wins than you?

The student has become the master! But the only thing it appears he's mastered is losing...

Until next time...

Week 8 Matchup of the Week

On paper ESPN gives it to Jay and Not So Silent Shawn vs. Lionel Richie All Night Long, but Harry and Lloyd have a greater chance of choking on a penny than winning this matchup.

This week's Matchup of the Week is sponsored by Flick Candles makers of Blueberry Bromance

This week I'm going with a once great forgotten about rivalry. Everyone sit down and let me tell you a story about our League before Prestige Worldwide came into our midst.

There was another great Brofest. Yes, this isn't Team Shaft's first rodeo or should I say Rodebro :)

These two teams competed in everything from IceFacing to I really can't remember what else, but they did, I promise.

That bromance is rekindled this week when The Original RG takes on Team Shaft. The spread right now is 3.8, but even though I always go with the checkmarks and ESPN, I can not and will not bet against The Original RG.

So looks like Team Shaft better find a 5-3 gif out there..

Week 7 Recap

Is this man a better Fantasy Football player than us?

I find that hard to believe, but still it's hard to argue with a 7-0 record. Perhaps all the other managers in his league have the mental capacity of the B team minus Team Fox when it comes to FF this year...

Anyways, let's get to making fun of all of you...

So far it's shaping up for a "race" to the finish for the distinguished title of the League's Worst Team. It really feels like you're watching an event at the Special Olympics with performance of all these teams so far.

Half the Man I Used to Be still has a 1 game lead on the field, but it's getting congested just like a large amount of turds being flushed down the toilet with 4 teams having a 2-5 record.




The Original RG and Stormin Mormon still command the best records in the league.

When the schedule was draft all we heard about was how there would be "parity this year with the top teams from last year all playing each other," but somehow the mastermind behind the schedule did not put these Division winners from last year playing each other...Conspiracy? Smells like it to me...

This week's Bench Get Off Me Award presented by IKEA goes to Philanthropist Fletch for starting Rashad Jennings (1 point) over that lovable midget Darren Sproles. Sprole's 8 points would have been more than enough to squeak by You Win...You Lose. See, I told you that he'd find a way to lose....the Blog does not lie!

There's really not much more to say, almost half the league sucks and the usual people are winning. No one comments on the blog or makes death threats against me, so it's kind boring...I expected better.

I miss the good ole days when certain owners would make ridiculous trades, feelings would get hurt, and rivalries were real...

Have we all grown up? Are we all mature functioning adults now? Is everyone suddenly Politically Correct?

Where have the glory days of this league gone?

Until next week..

Rivalry Week

Well this is the week we've been all been waiting for...Rivalry Week. Sadly only one side bet has been made. You gentlemen should be ashamed of yourself, I expected better!

Since it's Rivalry Week, every matchup is the Matchup of the Week.

So let's all get to it...

Kenny Loggins Powers vs. Lionel Richie All Night Long

A winning record is truly a Brave New World for each of these owners. Right now, both are in the playoffs, but that will change based on the results of this game! ESPN predicts a victory for Lionel. However you can never count out Kenny F'n Powers and we all know how reliable those points projections are.

I'm giving the edge to KLP b/c you've got to know when to hold 'em..



Jay and Not So Silent Shawn vs. Half the Man I Used to Be

How the mighty have fallen. HTMIUTB hasn't lost this many games in a season any year he's been in the league and we aren't even halfway through. Now this being said, he'll still finish the season 8-5 and make it into the playoffs.

Shouldn't be much of a matchup against Tweedledee and Tweedledum, HTMIUTB wins easily and makes his great comeback!

Philanthropist Fletch vs. You win....you lose

On paper it looks a win for Fletch, but I'm thinking YW...YL pulls it out having found his winning ways back last week and if there's one thing we always know to be true, Fletch always always finds a way to lose!

Here's a picture of Decker's wife just because...



Prestige Worldwide vs. Team Shaft

Someone's going to be sleeping on the couch after this one. #frownyface
This bromance is heading through a rocky patch and feelings are going to get hurt in this lover's tussle.

I'm going to say this one ends in a tie because I don't think either could stand the pain that hurting the other would bring to them.

LeGarrette's Blount's vs. Team Fox

I really can't figure out why this is rivalry? Do they both share a love for Coors Light or just college Coeds? We may never know...

Team Fox wins in a landslide, but Blount can't feel his face and has not idea where he is...

 

We Don't Need Your Permission vs. I Will Not Give Up T!!!

 

This one isn't even going to be close, Permission wins without H8ER not even putting up a fight...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Half the Man Roy Wiliams Was vs. The Original RG

 

Should be the best matchup on paper, however RG flies the W.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you tell I've gotten bored now...

 

Stormin Mormon vs. Quinn's Redemption Tour

 

No one is stopping the Mormon, not even this tour de idleness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well that was fun and a huge waste of time...