Congrats to our two time defending regular season champion Prestige Worldwide!

 

 

 

O Champion! our Champion! our fearful regular season is already done,

Your team has weather’d every bye week, the championship we sought, you won,

The playoffs are near, the loud expletives from other's I hear, while your bank account is exulting,

While follow envious eyes the steady Prestige Worldwide, the team grim and daring;

                         But O heart! heart! heart!

                            O the bleeding drops of red,

                               Where we all pray that our Champion lies,

                                  Fallen cold and dead.

O Champion! our Champion! rise up and hear the yells;

Rise up—for you the W flag is flung—for you the message board trills,

For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you around your desk Delicious is a-crowding,

For you they curse, the other managers, their eager faces turning;

                         Here Champion! dear Doughnut's father!

                            This arm beneath your head!

                               It is our dreams that behind your computer screen,

                                 You’ve fallen cold and dead.

Our Champion does not answer, his lips are pale and still,

Our Champion does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,

The regular season is closed and done,

From fearful byes weeks and regular season matchups Prestige Worldwide comes in with our championship won;

                         Exult O shores, and ring O bells!

                            But I with mournful tread,

                               Walk the deck our Champion lies,

                                  Fallen cold and dead.

This Is Why Some People Will Never Win This League

ARE YOU MENTALLY RETARDED?

Just when you think these two idiots can't can make anymore boneheaded moves they go an do something like this that just leaves you scratching your head...

I hope one of you suffers from food poisoning at the Piccadilly this Thanksgiving.

Week 11 Wrap-Up

First of all, let me take a minute to apologize to all of you for not posting a wrap-up of any value last week. I had a Kayne moment and just needed to take a little hiatus.

Sometime you win, sometime you're making $700,000 a year to try and tackle professional millionaires and lose $20,000 worth of laminated pieces of paper...and you thought $10 a week sucked..

 

 

Once again, the match-up of the week didn't live up to expectations, HUUUUGE surprise there, as My Dak In A Box (5-6) easily defeated Team Shaft (8-3) 115 to 92. Looks like Team Shaft is FINALLY back to his namesake after having two (2) players end their seasons on him this week. We are all glad your fortunes have been reversed and you've come crashing back to reality.

 

 

This week Because Shawn Hated TY (6-5) handed a win to our League's worst team Legendary Dozers (2-9) 83 to 93. I'd like you all to if you would, humor me for a minute here. If they hadn't made their early season trade, they would have won this match-up by 23 points. Hell they'd also have two (2) more wins on the season, but let's be honest...they'd of found some way to screw those up anyways.

 

Speaking of great decisions by these two, let's just look at them employing the draft, drop, add, drop strategy this year on Kenny Britt....real men of genius here...

 

 

 

Thanks to these two mongoloids and their management "skills," Prestige Worldwide (10-1) has successfully won the prestigious Hamilton Division and clinched a spot in the playoffs where he seeks to defend his championship....and there was no clapping or rejoicing because no one likes to see a team like this in the Playoffs every year. Let someone else in!

 

However both the Ralph and Alford Divisions are anyone's for the taking and thankfully that'll mean these last three (3) weeks will mean something.

 

This week's Bottom Four is presented by Luke Kuechly's Tears...

 

 

 

#15 - Philanthropist Fletch (3-7-1) 1,196 points scored: 108.7 points per week - Welcome back to the bottom sir, we missed you here.

 

#16 - For Whom the Bell Tolls (3-8) 1,158 points scored: 105.3 points per week - You were much better when you were colluding with  Kenny Loggins Powers (6-5).

 

#17 - Team Schaeffer BMW (2-7-2) 1,086 points scored: 98.7 points per week - Are you even trying?

 

#18 - Legendary Dozers (2-9) 915 points scored: 83.2 points per week - You almost screwed up a win this week, but congrats on your second win of the season! Too bad you've still lost nine games...

 

Hope you have a safe and relaxing holiday gentlemen or some of you never wake up from your Tryptophan comma and forget to set your lineups.

 

 



Week 11 Match-Up of the Week

Welcome to the Week 11 Match-Up of the Week presented by PEDs!

 

This week Team Shaft (8-2) takes on My Dak in A Box (4-6) in what promise to not live up to what it is on paper!


 vs.


According to the "experts" at ESPN this one should end in a tie, but you're more likely to give your daughter's cellphone number to a certain political candidate's chief of staff's husband (damn that's a ways to go for a joke) than you are to believe what they say...let's take a closer look shall we....

QB - Like a spring break Waka Flocka Flame concert, I predict Dak gets knocked off his feet quite a few times Sunday - FRNK

RB - Dak hasn't had a consistent running back all season and would have more luck with a Make-a-Wish kid running the ball - FRNK

WR - Pretty evenly matched receivers here, but it's Chicago right.. - DAK

WR - Again evenly matched receivers - PUSH

TE - You don't want either of the tight ends on your team - PUSH

 

FLEX - Robinson has been more famine that feast this year and I have two (2) words for you Blake Bortles. Plus the guy has a tattoo of himself making a catch from college on his ribcage...douchechills and that's coming from me now, so you know it's bad - FRNK

FLEX - Talk about two (2) waiver wire additions, no one wanted these guys at the draft, you'll see why after this week. Plus look who they've got throwing to them...this was the best you guys could find on the waiver wire? - EVEN

D/ST - To me this is where this match-up will be decided. If Seattle shows up, then Dak should win, if the Vikings of the first four (4) games of the season show up, then Shaft will walk away with the Dubya. - EVEN

K- It's impressive that Phil Dawson is still able to lace his shoes up every Sunday, however Tucker is a much better play here. - DAK

Final Thoughts:

He's not 8-2 for nothing...SHAFT

Update

This guy still sucks as Fantasy Football and does inappropriate things to mascots...

Wrap-Up

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Blog will be delayed this week.

Week 10 Match-Up of the Week

Good afternoon gentlemen, hope you're having a better day than Jonnu Smith...Hopefully you all did get out there and exercised your civil duty on Tuesday unlike certain people named Nick Saban. Also remembered to be sure and set your lineup tonight and on Sunday morning if you're out on the street or highway protesting the results though.

For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-8) and Team Stenmark (5-4) meet in this week's Match-Up of the Week presented by Kleenex so all you entitled millennial crybabies who've never heard the word no and have been coddled your entire lives by your parents, teachers, and friends can dry your tears. Hopefully you were able to find a therapy dog while you had your sit in catered by your college while not having to study for your exams today.

Vs.

 

 

Let's take a closer look at this match-up on paper...

 



 

QB - Joe Flaco will never be an elite quarterback...except when he's going up against Jay Cutler who let's just admit it, is trash. I'd rather have Uncle Rico than Cutler. - MFer

RB - Won't even be close here - MFer

WR - Edelman bangs random chicks off Tinder and in a Donald Trump America, that's the kind of guy I'd want on my team.  - MFer

WR - This right here is why ESPN's projections are about as reliable as exit polls, Michael Thomas will outscore Devante Adams by at least 10. - SS

TE - Matthew Berry loves Cameron Brate this week. Therefore, I hate him - MFer

FLEX - Cutler is back, Jeffery is a way better play here - SS

FLEX - Does anyone want a Rams receiver on their team...no - SS

D/ST - Jameis is going to take full advantage of the Bears D just like a Coed (Pretty sure I've made that joke before, sorry for a repeat) - MFer

K - Things that the Saints' defenders have problems with, defending the pass, defending the run, dodging bullets... - MFer

 

Final thoughts:

Every time I've gone with For Whom the Bell Tolls, he just disappoints me and let's me down, so therefore I've got to go with Team Stenmark.

 

 

* Lastly I'd like to state that the editor of the gloriousness that is The Blog does not appreciate having to re-do The Match-Up of the Week when you all make a stupid trade a few hours before kickoff. Really cramping my style kids... 

Week 9 Wrap-Up

Greeting gentlemen, today we decide the course of this great Nation of ours for the next four (4) years and tomorrow our country resembles This Is The End...

For a second week in a row, last week's Match-Up of the Week again didn't deliver as Because Shawn Hated TY (6-3) dominated Stormin Mormon (4-4-1) 134-97. Apparently someone's team forgot to follow him back to the Temple.

This week's Great Moments in Managerial Insight is brought to you by Aeromexico.

First up we have Legendary Dozers (1-8)...words can not describe how utterly pathetic this team has been this year so far....hell I'd rather have Chad Kelly's ACL that this team. This team has established a new standard in feebleness scoring a record low of 25 points in a week. Never before has there been a team that's sucked this bad. Let's take a second or two and just laugh at this ineptitude.

1. The Dozer's managed to score only 25 points.
2. His bench (2 players not on bye) outscored his starters 41-25.
3. He could've started only Eli Manning and still scored 25 points.
4. He started two (2) players on bye and forgot to move Marquise Lee (16 points) to the FLEX.
5. Team Shaft (8-1) could have only started Latavius Murray (32 points) and still won.
6. Fifteen (15) individual players outscored this entire team on their own this week.

Next up we have last year's worst team Nathan's Moist Rowellettes (5-4):

Six (6) players on bye, no attempt to find anything on the waiver wire.
Two (2) defenses, you couldn't have dropped one (1) of these to try and find another offensive player?
I can understand not wanting to drop Dalton or Garcon, but what's your reasoning for keeping Chandler Catanzaro and not trying to pick up a kicker on waivers?
At most, you should have only two (2) players on bye in your starting lineup.

Finally just ask All About the Benjamins (6-3) how this worked out for him last week:

This week's Bottom Four is presented by two (2) week old Peanut Butter Kisses that you weren't able to give away last week at Halloween.

Thanks to scoring the most points in the league last week (135), Philanthropist Fletch (3-5-1) no longer finds himself on this list, talk about his best week ever!

#15 - My Dak In A Box (3-6) 1,000 points scored: 111.1 points per week - This team flies in the face of the convention that two (2) heads are better than one (1).

#16 - Team Schaeffer BMW (2-5) 900 points scored: 100 points per week - I'm out of Eastbound and down quotes to describe this team.

#17 - For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-8) 880 points scored: 97.8 points per week - Make up your damn mind on what your team name is going to be please.

#18 - Legendary Dozers (1-8) 753 points scored: 83.6 points per week -

So get out there and vote today because I'm pretty sure the world is going to end soon. That's good new for some of you since you already owe $80 to the pot and we've still got five (5) weeks left!