Week 8 Wrap-Up

Fantasy Football is not a sprint, it's a marathon, which is really funny considering most of you are fat, out of shape, and couldn't even run a 5K to save your life...that being said we are more than halfway there gentlemen.

Before we get started I thought of a certain owner as I read this article this week....Why Grown Men in Jerseys Are Losers especially men who wear Patrick Willis jerseys to dinner.

Last week's Match-Up of the Week didn't live up to expectations as My Dak in a Box (3-5) easily defeated The House that Forte Built (3-4-1) 99-67. Looks like someone needs to do a little foundation work on 4TAY b/c this team is slowly dilapidating faster than a trap house.

This week's Great Moments in Managerial Insight is brought to you by Arthur Andersen.

Kenny Loggins Powers (5-3) decided to go with the biggest crybaby in the league (ironic when you consider how much this owner bitches about everything in our league) Scam Newton - 13 points instead of his keeper from last year Blake Bortles - 33 points. Those extra 20 points would've been nice to have considering he came up just 4 points shy of a victory this week.

I've heard the excuses, but still it pays to check and recheck your lineup gentlemen. Such is the case for one of our worst/special needs teams Philanthropist Fletch (2-5-1). Fletch could've handed Prestige Worldwide (7-1) his second loss in a row, but instead he left Donte Moncrief and his 14 points on the bench while starting Randall Cobb who was in street clothes 0 points.

Now this "manager" will argue that he didn't know if Cobb would go, but hell the update of Cobb's status was out there at 3:33 AM which is well ahead of the 3:05 PM start time by almost 12 hours. 12 hours, you could've rented a car and driven home from Chicago in that time and still had enough time to watch a movie.

So you no longer can use the excuse that you didn't know if he was going to play or not...C'mon Man! 

Here's a word of "friendly" advice...follow Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) if you have a question about who's playing or not. This is why you suck at fantasy football and life. You couldn't drop anyone on your team to move Moncrief out your IR spot b/c everyone on your bench wasn't droppable? Adam Thielen was really worth keeping...oh wait...just few days late on this one genius...

I can only hope your precious Cubs lose tonight so there will be no joy for you during 2016.

This week's Bottom Four presented by the State of Mississippi's SEC football teams includes a new team....Welcome to ineptitude sir!

#15 - Team Schaeffer BMW (2-4-2) 785 points scored: 98 points per week - The newest addition to this list. This team sucks, I can feel down in my plums. Getting a nice, bluish hue. Getting ready to take them down to the farmer's market.

#16 - Philanthropist Fletch (2-5-1) 856 points scored: 107 points per week - If only you hadn't been so obsessed with watching your baseball team win, you'd of paid more attention to your fantasy lineup. I wish Chad Kelly would come out of the stands and kick your ass.

#17 - For Whom the Adele Sings (1-7) 774 points scored: 97 points per week - Too bad changing your name didn't improve the product of the field. Guess you better get used to changing your name since that's what you'll be doing next season anyways. Here's a fresh new name idea for you For Whom the Management Sucks.

#18 - Legendary Dozers (1-7) 728 points scored: 91 points per week - This team should just walk around with a rape whistle and pepper spray b/c all anyone he plays does is take advantage of him.

Until Next Week guys...but until then, be sure to stop by the Joe Buck and Kyle Schwarber Wedding Registry and get something for this budding bromance.