Week 8 Match-Up of the Week

I got one question for you....What you gonna do brother, when The House that Forte Built (3-3-1) takes on My Dak in a Box (2-5) in this week's Match-Up of the Week presented by Steven "Stingray" Stevens (@stevenray28)!

Paul, Stingray is sad...

Why...because these two (2) teams just plain suck, watching them play is going to be just about as bad as watching my dawgs play Auburn this year.

Both these teams are a lot like @TX_Brook_96. She gave me hope and I thought things were going well for a little bit, but I was left with a bad taste in my mouth when I learned that she wasn't real.

 

     

 

 

Let's take a deeper look at these teams shall we...

QB - Hard to pick a winner here, they both suck - EVEN

RB - It's not everyday that you have two (2) running backs with projections of single digits matched up against each other, but what else would you expect for these lackluster teams? - EVEN

WR - Allen Robinson couldn't score 16 points in 3 weeks combined let alone 1 week...

 

And that's a Stingray guarantee! - 4TAY

TE - Dak is starting who? Not even close - 4TAY

FLEX - I hate all these players, Matt Berry loves them that means they'll be lucky to score more than 1 point. - DAK

D/ST - The only bright spot for DAK has been D/ST - DAK

K - The Pack is going to score and score a lot. Just like me after this visit to Hooters - 4TAY

Final Verdict:

They've been picked in every matchup that they've been featured in so far, why stop a good thing now? The House that Forte Built wins this one easily and My Dak in a Box should seriously consider making nice with everyone in the League b/c last place and a new name is on the horizon for this team.

 



Week 7 Recap

It might of taken a year and halfway through the 2016 Fantasy Football season, but finally Prestige Worldwide (6-1) has finally been defeated!

The Match-up of the Week did not disappoint as Team Shaft (6-1) was able to overcome a one (1) catch performance by Jordy Nelson thanks to a strong performance by A.J. Green and his D...wait that just sounds wrong...hopefully these two (2) guys can make up after this week, but this loss might make that hard for PWW to get over.

Sadly, PWW still remains the Number Uno team in the league, so gentlemen, let's do something about that over the next seven (7) weeks. But let's all be honest, the real winner of Week Seven has to be this guy...

Not only has he turned his season around by winning five straight after dropping his first two games, but he's gone out there and gotten himself a new job! Congratulations are in order for Nathan's Moist Rowellettes (5-2)! Enjoy this season b/c you won't be invited back next year sir.

Rivalry Week actually lived up the hype for once with two (2) games ending in a stalemate. Team Schaeffer BMW (2-3-2) has as many ties on the season as he does wins, now that's talent!

In an effort to highlight the exceptional managerial decisions of some, let's look at what happened this week or didn't...

Team Stenmark (3-4) decided to go with the hot arm of Brian Hoyer this week only to see his hopes of winning broken early in the first half of the Thursday night game. A better option would've been Tyrod Taylor and his 24 points just wasting away on his bench. Great job sir your bench barely missed out scoring your starters 50-58.

For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-6) decided that week 7's highest scoring player Davante Adams and his 39 points were needed to pad his bench stats.

This week's move of the week has to go to Philanthropist Fletch (2-4-1) as he was able to grab up the 10th highest scorer of the week, Jay Ajayi (29 points) off waivers. Hey it might of cost you $53 auction dollars, but winning each week is priceless...

Speaking of FLET, Don't look now, but this team is on a roll now picking up his 2nd win in a row, could the playoffs be on the horizon for this lovable band of misfits....

This Week's Bottom Four is presented by King Oscar Norwegian cod Liver!

The only thing that has changed with the Bottom Four is a name change for one (1) owner and the overall order. Unchanged is the reality that these four teams suck ass and I'm too uncreative to come up with something witty and funny about each this week, so just see last week's write-up for that.

#15 - Philanthropist Fletch (2-4-1) 756 points scored: 108 points per week

#16 - My Dak in A Box (2-5) 787 points scored: 112 points per week

#17 - For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-6) 692 points scored: 99 points per week

#18 - Legendary Dozers (1-6) 637 points scored average score: 91 points per week

Before I leave you, I'd like us all to remember a few weeks ago when this beauty of a transaction happened...

Yeah, looks like a sound investment now...

Until we meet Thursday boys, hopefully you're having a better week than this guy...

 

Rivalry Week

Welcome to the "most fun" week of  the Fantasy Football season...Rivalry Week.

This week I've decided to highlight not just one, but two matchups this week (you're all welcome for the extra effort on my part). These two matchups highlight both the highs and the lows of this league as we've got a battle for the top spot in the League and also skirmish for the bottom of the league.

Let's get to it with the first matchup presented by the Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita where Team Shaft (5-1) meets Prestige Worldwide (6-0).

It's been 361 days since Prestige Worldwide last lost.

Let that sink in for a moment...Three hundred sixty-one days...

Just think, back then Playboy still had nude playmates,  Lamar Odom was in a coma, Peyton Manning only had 1 Super Bowl win,  The UK was still part of the European Union, The Cavaliers had never won an NBA championship, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali, Prince, and Nancy Reagan were still alive, there was no Pokémon Go, and most importantly the world still had Harambe!

But this week he finds himself taking on the last team to beat him Team Shaft. Last year FRNK won 127-114 thanks to 31 points from Mike Evans...only problem is that this time Mike Evans suits up for PWW this year. Let's take a gander at this match up...

QB -  Won't even be close here, this isn't the 2013 Gator Bowl - FRNK

RB - I pity the fool that has to play David Johnson - PWW

WR - On paper Shaft has the two of the best receivers in the league, but somehow Kenny Britt will have 200+ yards and Crabtree will have 3 tds this week. - FRNK

TE - We've been hearing how great it's going to be when Eifert actually plays for Prestige, I hope he at least plays this week so Prestige can shut up about this. - FRNK

FLEX - This is pretty much a toss up - EVEN

D/ST - Should be a defensive battle in that Eagles/Vikings game. Think that has to favor the Eagles. - FRNK

K - Never trust your week to a kicker - EVEN

Final Thoughts:

Shut yo' mouth...

And now for that other match-up presented by the Smart Pure Coupe where Philanthropist Fletch (1-4-1) meets For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-5).

 

These are the 36 Absolute Best Things in the World you will not find either of these team listed anywhere on this list because....well, these two teams just suck.



QB -  Sucks

RB -  Sucks

WR - Sucks

TE - Sucks

FLEX - Sucks

D/ST - Sucks

K - Sucks

Final Thoughts:

The real winner here is.....YOU....Why you might ask?

Because you play in a league with both these teams who are going to put up as much fight each week as anyone who leaves the bar with Cosby...

Week Six Recap

There's been a tyrannical force on a destruction path through this League the last 2 years and no one's done anything to stop this oppression. He's been paid over $800 by all of you and only had to put in a measly $20 himself.

Does no one want to stand up and offer themselves tribute to stop this madness?

When will it stop?

Haven't we all suffered enough already.

The rich get rich and we all are left paying in $10 each week. Enough is enough...Prestige Worldwide (6-0) needs to be stopped from going port to port. Hopefully this goliath of a team will run out of gas this week or just crash dad's boat into an embankment and suffer a fate similar to José Fernandez.

Alright on to other things...

It only took six weeks, but finally Philanthropist Fletch (1-4-1) popped his 2016 Fantasy Football cherry after playing just the tip in week 4 and is no longer the worst team in the league. Speaking of the bottom feeders of this league, let's smoothly transition into this week's Bottoms...

The Bottom Four is presented by The 1989 Eagle Premier:

Below is a description of this P.O.S car from TheStreet.com

You may look at this car and think to yourself, "that's not that bad." But what it is that makes this car particular terrible, it's what it is not. 

When you get into this car, you feel nothing.  There is nothing special or unique about the Eagle Premier.  It is almost as if the designer took his four-year old kid's crayon drawing of car and decided to model the Eagle Premier after it.  It has no style. It is not fast. It's not at all "luxurious" despite it being branded as a luxury car. It doesn't have particularly good gas mileage.  It is the most underwhelming car in the world.  Even with the nine other dreadful options on this list, at least they have a story to tell; something unique about them. 

This car looks like the generic silhouette of a vehicle in which you would spot only on a 25-year old poster that has been hanging in tired DMV, generic and apathetic in nature, faded and defeated from years of exposure to florescent lighting and the restless complaints of impatient souls.

It is a symbol of sheer indifference and nothingness.

I believe that's a fitting way to describe all the teams listed below "a symbol of sheer indifference and nothingness." Which is something I feel when I look at each of them.

#15 My Dak In A Box (2-4) 698 points scored - This team looked great on paper to start the season, only problem is that paper should have been Charmin Ultra.

#16 Philanthropist Fletch (1-4-1) 627 points scored - This team would've been great 4 years ago, but old age, injuries, and management have caught up with Fletch and it shows on the field.

#17 For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-5) 574 points scored - Eddie Lacy is fat, also when was the last time an Alabama running back was relevant in fantasy?

#18 Larmey's New Gas Mask (1-5) 544 points scored  - 57 points scored last week, ouch...I see no signs of a turnaround anytime for this team. Looks like you can go ahead and get ready for your new team name next year sir.

Do not worry bottoms, there's only five (5) teams over .500 and you're only 1 to 2 games out of the playoffs. No seriously you read that right 3-3 makes the playoffs right now...probably b/c there's seven (7) teams with that record, but still pretty pathetic.

Meanwhile...

Last Week's Matchup of the Week left a lot to be desired as The House That Forte Built (3-3) got their asses kicked by The Original RG (3-3).

Apparently 4TAY forgot there was a game this week as the only player to show up for them was Jimmy McCoy. Sadly even his 35 points didn't matter as RG got a statement win and these newbies laid an egg.

I'll see you guys Thursday for more shenanigans...

Week 6 Match-Up of the Week

The House That Forte Built (3-2) takes on The Original RG (2-3) in this week's Match-Up of the Week is brought to you by Locker Room Talk:

This match up is going to be Huuuge...Someone's going to win and they are going to win so big. Let's get right to it and grab this matchup by the...um...er...uh...

QB - Heisman Trophy winner versus "alleged" rapist... -  4TAY

RB - I know a certain owner who's cheering for McCoy to sustain a career ending injury before he takes the field, but I see a big day ahead for "Jimmy" - 4TAY

WR - Anytime you see you're matched up against Antonio Brown, you just pray that the Steelers are so far ahead at halftime that he gets pulled for the 2nd half - RG

TE - Three (3) TDs for Bennett last week (I HATE YOU TOM BRADY) can only mean at least two (2) this week for Gronk right? - RG



FLEX - LaFell caught his first TD last week, this was his first TD since the 2014 Super Bowl with the Pats where the world was blessed with this commercial...



I wish a similar fate on some of you (and no I don't mean it's your child, I mean it's actually you in the tub before you get offended). Anyways...awkward transition...I don't see a repeat performance this week and T.Y. is  going to be T.Y. - 4TAY

D/ST - You're actually staring the Chargers this week? I know Joey Bosa had a good game last week, but really...I mean Junior Seau shot himself so he wouldn't have to play for this defense anymore...Is there nothing better on the waiver wire? Both the Giants and Da Bears are available, hell even the Jags should get a few turnover against the Bears on Sunday. - 4TAY

K - Old man river is lights out this year - RG

Final thoughts:

Somehow these two (2) newbies keep beating up on the veterans. The Forte train doesn't slow down this week...

Semana Cinco concluir

Hola gringos, propietarios y bienvenido a la escritura para la quinta semana!

El blog de esta semana tendrá un poco de sabor al sur de la frontera. Vamos a celebrar todo lo que hace grande ante México antes de estamos cerrados fuera de ellos para siempre. Las cosas tales como tacos, burritos, tequila, mano de obra barata, El Chapo, la extirpación del riñón, y el contrabando de drogas.

Así que todavía hay sólo un equipo invicto. Al parecer, ninguno de ustedes se preocupan por el primer lugar este año y que está dando todo el contenido de su dinero para Prestigio mundial (5-0) y contrayendo el escorbuto.

Arriba, Arriba Andales Arriba. No mires ahora, pero la basura del año pasado (de Nathan húmedo Rowelletes (3-2)) es sólo un lugar lejos de llegar a los playoffs este año. Este equipo está creciendo más rápido que Speedy Gonzales! Todos deben tener vergüenza.

Feliz Quinceañera a uno de nuestros nuevos grupo que pelotas de futbol americano de fantasía metafórica finalmente han caído ... La Casa Que Forte Piedra (3-2), estos chicos se sientan actualmente en el segundo lugar de la División Hamilton y cuarta cabeza de serie en los playoffs.

El Samsung Galaxy Note 7 contenedor Fuego Match Up de la semana no ha defraudado como Por quién doblan las campanas (1-4) apenas se quedó corto frente a Nueva Máscara de gas de Laremy (1-4). LRMY puede tomar un largo suspiro ahora que se ha recogido su primera victoria en el año ... que es más que todos podemos decir con Filántropo Fletch (0-4-1). Seguir quemando señor que el dinero.

Parece ser que la división Ralph sigue siendo que nadie para la toma, sorta como un nuevo lote de patas de cangrejo o un co-ed a Florida State derecho Jameis?

 

 

Informe libres de la subasta de esta semana es presentado por José Cuervo ... un tequila que deja un sabor de mierda en la boca ... al igual que la mayor parte de sus los grupo.

 

 





No demasiados ofertas extravagantes esta semana a pesar de Equipo Eje (4-1) presentó ninguna oferta de cuarenta y dos ($42) dólares en un jugador que ahora podría incluso jugar esta semana, ¿por qué no le preguntas a la casa que Forte, construido cómo eso funcionó para ellos la semana pasada con que la lesión sin Dios propensos corredor se recogió.

Prestigio mundial ofertas colocado en tres golpeadores, pero lamentablemente tuvo que conformarse con un kicker de Buffalo. No es como si eso cada vez cuestan un equipo al Super Bowl.

Bueno amigos necesito una pequeña siesta para sacudirse la situación creada por los chips rancio y cerveza mexicana barata. Nos vemos de nuevo en la semana seis!