Week Six Recap

There's been a tyrannical force on a destruction path through this League the last 2 years and no one's done anything to stop this oppression. He's been paid over $800 by all of you and only had to put in a measly $20 himself.

Does no one want to stand up and offer themselves tribute to stop this madness?

When will it stop?

Haven't we all suffered enough already.

The rich get rich and we all are left paying in $10 each week. Enough is enough...Prestige Worldwide (6-0) needs to be stopped from going port to port. Hopefully this goliath of a team will run out of gas this week or just crash dad's boat into an embankment and suffer a fate similar to José Fernandez.

Alright on to other things...

It only took six weeks, but finally Philanthropist Fletch (1-4-1) popped his 2016 Fantasy Football cherry after playing just the tip in week 4 and is no longer the worst team in the league. Speaking of the bottom feeders of this league, let's smoothly transition into this week's Bottoms...

The Bottom Four is presented by The 1989 Eagle Premier:

Below is a description of this P.O.S car from TheStreet.com

You may look at this car and think to yourself, "that's not that bad." But what it is that makes this car particular terrible, it's what it is not. 

When you get into this car, you feel nothing.  There is nothing special or unique about the Eagle Premier.  It is almost as if the designer took his four-year old kid's crayon drawing of car and decided to model the Eagle Premier after it.  It has no style. It is not fast. It's not at all "luxurious" despite it being branded as a luxury car. It doesn't have particularly good gas mileage.  It is the most underwhelming car in the world.  Even with the nine other dreadful options on this list, at least they have a story to tell; something unique about them. 

This car looks like the generic silhouette of a vehicle in which you would spot only on a 25-year old poster that has been hanging in tired DMV, generic and apathetic in nature, faded and defeated from years of exposure to florescent lighting and the restless complaints of impatient souls.

It is a symbol of sheer indifference and nothingness.

I believe that's a fitting way to describe all the teams listed below "a symbol of sheer indifference and nothingness." Which is something I feel when I look at each of them.

#15 My Dak In A Box (2-4) 698 points scored - This team looked great on paper to start the season, only problem is that paper should have been Charmin Ultra.

#16 Philanthropist Fletch (1-4-1) 627 points scored - This team would've been great 4 years ago, but old age, injuries, and management have caught up with Fletch and it shows on the field.

#17 For Whom the Bell Tolls (1-5) 574 points scored - Eddie Lacy is fat, also when was the last time an Alabama running back was relevant in fantasy?

#18 Larmey's New Gas Mask (1-5) 544 points scored  - 57 points scored last week, ouch...I see no signs of a turnaround anytime for this team. Looks like you can go ahead and get ready for your new team name next year sir.

Do not worry bottoms, there's only five (5) teams over .500 and you're only 1 to 2 games out of the playoffs. No seriously you read that right 3-3 makes the playoffs right now...probably b/c there's seven (7) teams with that record, but still pretty pathetic.

Meanwhile...

Last Week's Matchup of the Week left a lot to be desired as The House That Forte Built (3-3) got their asses kicked by The Original RG (3-3).

Apparently 4TAY forgot there was a game this week as the only player to show up for them was Jimmy McCoy. Sadly even his 35 points didn't matter as RG got a statement win and these newbies laid an egg.

I'll see you guys Thursday for more shenanigans...